Let's spice things up

Today was a fun day. A day to learn which always excites this nerd. I had a realization that in certain areas of my life I'm still "safe". Even in areas where I thought I was exploring. When I try new recipes I always follow exact and then make my modifications the next go round. A friend is mentoring me through my food exploration. At my friend's advice I'm going to use the recipes as guidelines, learning to trust my own senses. My food/cooking therapy is no surprise to those who really know me, but this more sensual side might be. I got to thinking about that. I connected those same feelings to some movies I enjoy about food. I recently watched Woman on Top. I hadn't seen it in a while. It made me laugh because I could relate one of the main character's friendships to one I have with a fellow flight attendant friend here. It isn't the best of movies, but a good escape. The main character's view on food and the passion behind it is so spot on for me. Two more I like and haven't seen in a while are Chocolat and The Mistress of Spices. The latter is the one I recalled today. I went to a specialty spice shop. What an experience! I'm not talking about highly commercialized like Penzey's. Don't get me wrong, I like Penzey's. This shop was different from the second I walked in. The whole atmosphere enveloped me. Every sense was heightened. Yes, my hearing too. Listening to others talk about what creation they were making, customers exclaim such joy to be able to find the spice or herb they've been searching, or the knowledgable clerk guide me through the curry shelves. You could hear such care and almost honor for the varied personalities of each. I was happy to share my finds with my mentor. This friend describes food with almost the same reverence and uniqueness.
With so much going on it is so nice to have this escape. It is wonderful that my patriots like to try new things. This wouldn't be as mucgh fun if I didn't have at least someone to share it with. I can share the fruition of my labor with my boys, and dare I say the emotions of such learning and experiences with my friend. I used to make food for my co-workers and employees. One of them hadn't had some of the items before so it was always nice to see her reactions. I still share by proxy with her via Twitter sometimes.  The last tweet to her was that this momma has a brand new bag. attached was a picture of me holding up the brown checkout bag from the spice shop. Corny? You bet. I do feel a bit like James Brown singing "I feel good" It feels nice. I'm liking this sugar and spice! I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
I'm still searching recipes for the goodies I picked up today. All I know is that I feel alive and happy that my life is literally being spiced up.

I sit here pondering life on my eighth month anniversary of achieving one of my life's dreams. Flying has been wonderful! I have met some interesting people and been to places I haven't before. Two more moves under my belt which brings the count to about an average of 1.3 times a year in my lifetime.It has been bittersweet along the way. Personal things are stagnant and moving at the same time. I am really challenging my faith in God. Our personal relationship is rocky. It is just that though, personal. I've had some health issues. One tumor removed and another to be done soon, provided it is not too close to my spine. I can't wait to get back to my running again. The physical therapy isn't going as well as hoped. My advantage of being flexible was awesome as a gymnast, but not so much when they have to revamp your PT. Seeking more holistic approach than my previous holistic approach. You totally understood that right?  Still having fun using cooking therapy to cope with stress. It is harder in this tiny apartment kitchen.The farmer's markets here are fabulous! Gained some friends and lost some too. For the first time in a long time, I look forward to my birthday this year. I'm spending it alone in NYC. My schedule, my food choices, my day, my life. As my patriots grow older, the mother relationship has grown stronger. I know I'm setting a good example for them. I'm equipping them to be happy and successful in their lives. My five year plan is quickly being scaled down to realistically 2-3. I'm more than fine with that. I'm reading more non-fiction. That's right, non-fiction that isn't cookbook or travel books. I'm happy with my life and know that I'm moving in the right direction. Even if friends and other family members don't "get it" who gives a flying flip. I do and I'm owning it. I understand that I change my life map. Sure things don't always happen as we plan, but I will no longer feel coerced into decisions. I am not someone's property. I am my own person. I am a unique nerd. I have a lot to offer this world, no matter how large or small I choose to make it.