Not the normal Thanksgiving Blessing

 Most everyone takes time to be thankful this time of year. The rest of the year caught up in daily life, we coast along, many by just existing. I have been one of those who have taken much for granted.
With the holiday season kicking off I feel guilty. Guilty that I at times told my 3 patriots " not now" and missed precious moments with them. I feel bad that I never wrote to extended family I intended to keep in touch with. Putting friends off because I was so "busy". Wasting time envying others' talent, causing me to miss my own that I never knew existed. I'm guilty of worrying over trivial things, abandoning the small wonders and just frankly wasting time.
Now, that my personal world is greatly changing I realize how foolish I have been. So, I'm starting my New Year resolution now. I will try not to worry about the silly stuff, stuff I can't control. I am trying my hand at a new talent adventure at the urging of a friend. I am making time for friends, savoring each laugh and tear shared. I'm putting projects down and answering the call of my precious boys who are growing so fast. Taking some "me time" when needed. I'm reaching out to fellow mankind as I can, however small the gesture. I'm going to spend quality time with my parents.( I never know how long I'll have them.) I will embrace whatever life throws at me as a chance to learn. Sometimes it will be in hindsight, but always an opportunity. I'm going to live rather than exist.
I'm not waiting another year to be thankful. I will savor each new day and be grateful just to have it. I'm not naive to think I won't have trials. I just won't let them consume me. I won't give up.
In the words of Albert Finney as Scrooge, " I'll begin again. I will build my life. I will live to know that I've fulfilled my life. I'll begin today."

old blog post #3

Maybe I should start listening to myself. My old self, or the me I gave up? Point is it's action time. Make the decision or suck it up up!

Entry for June 27, 2007

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decision: noun- the act of or need for making up one's mind
choice-noun-The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.
Growing up I always heard a certain phrase in our household. Yes, it most always pertained to me. It bugged the heck out of me! It would always hurt me. As I got older and moved away I thought I was numb to it. Then whenever faced with a major decision, the tape reel in my head would play that phrase. Now facing major choices in my professional and personal life I just want to scream “shut up!” Was this what my family had intended? Was this their way of ensuring I thought things through? I have had the worst pit in my stomach lately. Feeling as if people are staring at me like Regis Philbin asking, “final answer?”. Where’s my lifeline? Do I really need one? Looking back when I made spontaneous decisions I never felt sick. Does that mean I should just trust my instinct and go with my first choice? Go with the decision I truly want or what I think everyone else thinks I should choose. That kind of contemplation (or coercion) has gotten me where I am now. Not entirely regretting decisions made, but wishing I had better choices.