Not the normal Thanksgiving Blessing

 Most everyone takes time to be thankful this time of year. The rest of the year caught up in daily life, we coast along, many by just existing. I have been one of those who have taken much for granted.
With the holiday season kicking off I feel guilty. Guilty that I at times told my 3 patriots " not now" and missed precious moments with them. I feel bad that I never wrote to extended family I intended to keep in touch with. Putting friends off because I was so "busy". Wasting time envying others' talent, causing me to miss my own that I never knew existed. I'm guilty of worrying over trivial things, abandoning the small wonders and just frankly wasting time.
Now, that my personal world is greatly changing I realize how foolish I have been. So, I'm starting my New Year resolution now. I will try not to worry about the silly stuff, stuff I can't control. I am trying my hand at a new talent adventure at the urging of a friend. I am making time for friends, savoring each laugh and tear shared. I'm putting projects down and answering the call of my precious boys who are growing so fast. Taking some "me time" when needed. I'm reaching out to fellow mankind as I can, however small the gesture. I'm going to spend quality time with my parents.( I never know how long I'll have them.) I will embrace whatever life throws at me as a chance to learn. Sometimes it will be in hindsight, but always an opportunity. I'm going to live rather than exist.
I'm not waiting another year to be thankful. I will savor each new day and be grateful just to have it. I'm not naive to think I won't have trials. I just won't let them consume me. I won't give up.
In the words of Albert Finney as Scrooge, " I'll begin again. I will build my life. I will live to know that I've fulfilled my life. I'll begin today."

old blog post #3

Maybe I should start listening to myself. My old self, or the me I gave up? Point is it's action time. Make the decision or suck it up up!

Entry for June 27, 2007

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decision: noun- the act of or need for making up one's mind
choice-noun-The power, right, or liberty to choose; option.
Growing up I always heard a certain phrase in our household. Yes, it most always pertained to me. It bugged the heck out of me! It would always hurt me. As I got older and moved away I thought I was numb to it. Then whenever faced with a major decision, the tape reel in my head would play that phrase. Now facing major choices in my professional and personal life I just want to scream “shut up!” Was this what my family had intended? Was this their way of ensuring I thought things through? I have had the worst pit in my stomach lately. Feeling as if people are staring at me like Regis Philbin asking, “final answer?”. Where’s my lifeline? Do I really need one? Looking back when I made spontaneous decisions I never felt sick. Does that mean I should just trust my instinct and go with my first choice? Go with the decision I truly want or what I think everyone else thinks I should choose. That kind of contemplation (or coercion) has gotten me where I am now. Not entirely regretting decisions made, but wishing I had better choices.

Twitter Food Challenge #2- Halloween/Fall Food

1st Stop, Clarke Farm

Potatoes for roasting. Squash and Zucchini for another day!

Fresh Virginia Apples!

2nd and final stop, Full Quiver Farm. We picked up our organic pork and eggs here

Free range egg laying hens

My new friend, Snickers. I love this Goat!

Sweet potatoes, carrots, white & red potatoes with olive oil and herbs ready for oven roasting

Roasted root veggies, pork chops, gravy and stuffed acorn squash

Iowa Wine from customer. Very Good!

Festive Centerpiece

Sausage, apple, wild rice stuffed in acorn squash. Sausage from Full Quiver Farm

Remember when and just go?!?

Another post from my old Yahoo blog. Timing was appropriate again. Many more thoughts floating in my head. I'll write about these thoughts as soon as I collect them. I'm making new memories with long ago and new friends this weekend while participating in Twitter Food Challenge #2- Halloween/Fall Food edition! What will your choice be?

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Entry for June 13, 2006


What prompts one to reminisce? Could it be a particular song, or a certain smell that triggers a fond memory? An old T-shirt? Is it when you find out that a friend has three months to live or you get the prognoses yourself? Is it a good thing or a waste of time? Can we use it to determine our outcome in life?
We could dwell on past and let our current lives slip away in a sense of loss & longing. We could use them to try and recreate, often ending in more disappointment. Maybe we should pick apart those events and find what truly left the impact.
Most of us wouldn't change our current lives, but if you could throw in dashes of the "good old days" we would. Okay,we still have to be adults and can't be as carefree as in our youth. However, we can learn to worry less.We can still dream big. We can giggle and play pranks on friends. We can turn up the car stereo and sing out loud. We can make new friends and memories. Find past ones and make more memories. Better yet, introduce your new friends to your old friends.
Whatever it is that we are holding on to, it's for a reason. Life is made up of moments. We all want a great life. Question is do you want it to constantly be remember when, what if, or let's do it!

real friends kick butt!

I have a feeling this is going to be a confessional. I have had all these thoughts running through my head since about 9pm. Some were conscious. Some were played out in last night’s dream so vividly that when I woke this morning I was almost disappointed. I say almost, because I’m certain the next scene would have held me accountable. Not sure how comfortable that would have played out. So here I am.
Yesterday I woke up (way too early!) with a huge chip on my shoulder. It was early as I took my parents to the airport so they could go to Colorado. I wanted to be the one traveling on a mini escape. The day prior was my birthday. I was already not feeling the getting older part since so much on my “life to do list” is unchecked. Next, add my own pity party (more like a one woman rave) because I felt I was forgotten on my birthday. Yep, the same one I didn’t want to celebrate.That can lead to a big ol’ boulder on my shoulder. Okay, so you get the start of my mind set. Fast forward several hours…a tweet came through from a friend whom I admire. I (and my boulder) took it personally. Tweeted back a sarcastic comment and that’s when my conscience kicked in about an hour later.
I’ve always thought a lot of this long ago friend. Even the times that our immature antics would make it appear we could be mortal enemies. He was always a true winner personified in my head. Why? Because I never saw him ever really give up. He was quick witted. Yes, sometimes at my expense. See the above mortal enemies comment. Persistence and cool could very much be used to describe him. On my brief 1995 move back “home” my best friend and I visited with him on a porch. I was mentally smiling and in awe. I couldn’t display it then because I had to keep up appearances and the timing wasn’t appropriate. Truly, I couldn’t face a quick witted quip just in case. I even wrote to my mom about it and said how I should have spoken up. Fifteen years later we’ve been able to get back in touch and it was me who threw the sarcastic dagger? Silly little girl, go back to 6th grade!
With my words and attitude haunting me, I dug down deep. Briefly! Exhausted and not willing to face what I was excavating I went to bed. While dreaming, in a tone and smirk I very much recognized, long ago friend was there to set me straight via my subconscious. Okay, I got it! While the tweet/posts may not have been aimed at me personally I took it that way for very simple reasons. I think long ago friend and I have always “clicked and clashed” personality wise. In a good way you know? Like thunder and lightening, oil and vinegar, David Addison and Maddie Hayes. We knew how to push buttons to make people think, to push them out of the comfort zone. I knew better than to throw my pity party and I assumed he was purposely pushing my buttons. Wishful thinking maybe, but either way it worked.
Parties are fun. The clean up afterward can be a drag. Especially a drag if it’s not a celebration party. Now I have some clean up to do. Long ago friend, I’m sorry if I seemed bitter yesterday. I’m sorry that I was a little jealous that you are climbing closer to your dreams. I truly think it’s exciting and well deserved! True friends encourage as well as hold each other accountable in all aspects of their lives. Whether yours was intentionally personal or not…thanks! This proves you are on the right path. I’m sorry I regressed (is that a real word?) this weekend, but am looking forward to next weekend for sure!

Tradition, Tradition...Birthday Bellies

I am long overdue with a post I know. I owe a special lunch box edition to a long ago friend. However, I'm going to write about Birthday Bellies. Sounds weird huh? I'll explain.
Growing up it was a tradition in our house to pick our birthday dinner and cake. It was funny because each of us usually rotated several meals. I usually did pork chops or a curried chicken rice ring if at home. If we went out I went the exotic route. My seventeenth birthday I had a dinner party with new friends from my 3rd, yes 3rd high school. Indian was my choice when I turned 18. I think I see a trend with the curry! Anyway, the point is we got whatever we wanted. Most years it was my mom fixing one of my favorite meals and cake request. Cakes would usually be some form of carrot cake or a Jello poke cake. Even as an adult my parents have carried out this tradition when able. When I started doing the same for my patriots, it was my youngest who put the the spin to it. Something about our stomachs being happy from our favorite birthday treats lead to his proclamation of birthday bellies. This year he chose authentic dim sum. I am so proud of him, my little adventurer! Although, I couldn't bring myself(or anyone else)to try the duck tongue. Where is this going you ask? I'm going to share my absolute number one favorite main course. I do a variation of it through out the year. The exact recipe is normally saved for a special occasion. I cheated and made this a few weeks ago ahead of my actual birthday. Well, I didn't follow the recipe precisely to stay safe. No bad birthday Karma here. Besides, I don't have those anymore, only anniversaries of my 29th birthday. The recipe is written verbatim from my mom's recipe card. So, yes this is special! I hope you enjoy! Italics signals my modifications


Orange Pork Chops
6 Pork chops 1" thick trimmed
2TBSP flour
1 1/2 tsp curry (I use a little more)
1/2 tsp pepper
3/4 cup orange juice
3/4 tsp coarsely chopped orange peel
1 TBSP seasoned salt (I now use A. Vogel Herbamare)
3/4 tsp paprika
2 TBSP shortening
6 whole cloves (I often leave out due to patriots' request, but miss them)
6 thin orange slices

Combine flour, seasoned salt, curry, paprika,& pepper. Reserve 1 TBSP of mixture. Roll chops in remaining spice mixture. In large skillet over high heat, brown chops in shortening. Reduce heat, add orange juice, cloves and peel. Cover, simmer until tender, turning chops occasionally. During last 15 minutes add orange slices. Remove chops and orange slices to warm platter. Skim off excess fat. Strain remaining liquids;discard cloves and peels. Return 1 cup liquid to skillet -add water or chicken broth to make 1 cup if needed. I use OJ or broth. Combine reserved flour & 2 TBSP cold water ( I use chicken broth). Pour slowly into liquid, stirring constantly until slightly thickened. Spoon over chops.
Start this recipe about 1 hour 15 minutes before serving time.
I like this with a plain rice or mashed potatoes, and of course we have apple sauce!

Why do they call it Stay at Home Mom?

I was writing the last post last Wednesday when I had to dash out for a Doc appointment. I finally posted it yesterday. My new discovery is that "stay at home mom" is just a silly title. Almost as silly as "working mom". We all work, just in different areas or specialties some more frazzled than others . I was hardly home my first week "at home". Running the patriots to and from school, karate and more patriot errands. Then I was at the various stores picking up where I left off about 6 months ago with my diverse shopping list. Then one day I just hung out with my mom. I'm very blessed that I am able to still do that! Now, I am really in need of addressing our nest. I have discovered things that should have been tossed long ago. Our garage sale will hopefully happen in two weeks. Then I can start with the decorating.The craft room is last on my agenda. Then, then, then... It's an eternal to do list, but one I'm grateful to take on. I'm just happy to be home just chirping along.

Mental blurbs

This is a post I’m not certain where it will lead. After pondering many viewpoints, thoughts, opinions, desires, dreams, and stances, or whatever you want to call them, I tackled my mountain of being a stay at home mom. Then, eventually I will work towards my own business. When I say mountain I don’t mean that in a disparaging way.  I mean that in an “I’m finally feeling brave enough and well equipped to handle this” way. Yes, I stayed at home when my oldest two were little and spurts before Squeakerbeaks went to school. I just wasn’t happy or felt like I could do it. That was a major part of the frustration! How can I run a multi-state district of employees and clients, yet can’t “manage” a house of 5? Well I can. I  need to approach it in a similar way. The other major factor is that I want to. I love my little men. When one of them told me they didn’t really need me, that they were able to get along without me I realized that was wrong! Not that I want a co-dependent Momma’s boy! I want them to see me as important to their lives.  I desire to be a nurturing, available when they truly needed me, fun loving memories kind of mom. What they  were getting was a stressed out, resentful, exhausted, never able to be there for them just a M.O.M. They were starting to get crappy food again and of course it was never on a schedule. The food challenge helped to kick start the motion of meaningful mothering . I feel like the past five years have been wasted and lost. I am a lover of most things natural and cozy which that atmosphere felt lost. With back to school festivities my timing is perfect. I could dwell on the past negatives. Instead, I will look forward to the possibilities.

Twitter food "challenge"

Okay, so a long ago friend of mine wrote a blog post that was interesting to me. I think most of us could relate to it. I applaud his steps to a healthier more "aware" approach to feeding his family! I too was raised a healthy, non-picky eater. I will try most anything once. I'm no Anthony Bourdain, but open minded still when it comes to food & travel adventures. Anyway, I kind of challenged or encouraged my friend to keep up his food goal. It turned into something fun! We agreed on chicken as the main dish ingredient. I have completely enjoyed the tweets leading up to the main event.With long ago friends' family in Colorado and mine on the east coast the time difference has been interesting. We tweeted about market visits and I posted prep pics.
I went back to one of my favorites that I rarely make anymore even though it's super easy. Then it blossomed from there. Big D and I love traveling to Mexico. We love the culinary delights we try each time we go. So it was my American tourist interpretation of memorable Mexico meals. The menu follows:
Tequila Lime Chicken- grilled by Big D of course!
Fresh corn & black bean salad Fresh corn off the cob, black beans, chopped orange & yellow peppers, and tomatoes.
Mexican rice (with more corn added)
salsa and blue corn chips and a build your own southwestern sorta salad if desired.
Pop Pop brought a CSA cantaloupe to add to my local sprite melon.
Lime-Tea  Puerto Vallerta resort style
It was too hot for Mexican cocoa & coffee (spicy chocolate & cinnamon, yummy!) so I picked up some coffee ice cream.
I used local produce as much as possible. Other items I was very aware of ingredients and nutritional value and avoided unnecessary "frankenfood".I invited my parents down to enjoy the chow-down. Everyone enjoyed the meal. No one over indulged. Healthy personal portion control was the style.
  I think my long ago friend is on to something. With easy planning, fun & healthy eating for a busy family is possible! I enjoyed sharing a meal with friends even from hundreds of miles away!

progress?

I know I should really delete this thing, but I can't. It's another time "sucker". Oh yeah, like I need another one of those! Anyway, here is house progress since the last time. We installed two new switch plates in the entryway. We stripped the wallpaper in the entryway and up the stairwell.That was a great project for boys! Destruction of anything excites them. (Well, unless it's one of their Lego creations) Installation of a 24" ceiling fan at the top of the stair landing has helped greatly with the thermostat and the a/c units' constant desire to stay on. Big D got the well working again, so he's back to watering the grass. Then he mows it. Then he waters again, just to mow again. I don't see the point, but he enjoys yard work so I can't complain! I am way off from my goal of the first week of August for completion. It's okay, I'm still having a celebration for New Friend. It may need to be pushed back until Labor Day or cooler weather, but it will happen! Oh! I almost forgot about the ceiling in the kitchen that had a leak from the stinky boys' bathroom pipes that was replaced. Mold in my fridge is not uncommon, but when I noticed it above my head I freaked! Doesn't look like much I know.  When you consider The W5 still had to continue everyday life I think we did well! I don't have to work today, so I have a long list to check off. I think I'll start with basics and go from there. What will be accomplished is uncertain. I do know that the day will end with a nice shower, a drink I'm not supposed to have and some reading. Until next time...

Okay, let me break it down. I went from two jobs -1 FT admin to 1 PT retail, to 1 PT retail mgmt, to FT retail mgmt. This all while trying to be a good mom and wife. Hahahaha. Will this explain why I haven't written? Nope? Okay, I'll have to live with that. I plan on writing more often. It may be in more of a rambling state, but at least it's typed out.
The house project has gone out of control. Small improvements have been made.Unfortunately, for each one we went about two steps back. I have had no social life, but I blame that on the house projects(or lack of) over anything else. Who am I kidding? It was our crazy schedule, then the house.
I am transitioning jobs and will have a few days off in-between. Those will be spent on the house for my own sanity. I have set specific goals. This time I mapped out  how to go about achieving them. I briefly have it outline below:

1. Clear clutter-garage sale with community, anything else goes to Goodwill.
2. Paint den, entry and kitchen I plan on earning a lot of commission to pay for a painter. I loathe painting!
3. Finish downstairs bath/laundry room
4. Complete the bedrooms

When I achieve the first two I will be celebrating! I aim for this to be all complete by the first week of August. Yes, August 2010. I have been working on my social skills as well. (see earlier posts of explanation) I have grown closer to MDoodles, our former nanny I guess you'd call her. The dynamics have changed in the relationship most definitely! She "grew up" (she was always mature for her age), got married, and now they are the godparents to our boys. (she's actually a better mom to them than me. I am not ashamed to admit that. It just means we picked great godparents) As the age gap seems to disappear, we have become friends. She's introduced me to a new friend and I'm actually excited! New Friend has dubbed me her sushi friend. I have rekindled a friendship from CWC and have plans on keeping that going too. Even after she moves! All of these fantastic gals have been kind, fun, and brutally honest when necessary with me. We also have had some great kool-aid laughs. You know the kind that they'll still be your friend after you laugh so hard kool-aid comes out your nose? Okay, now it's more like tea. Side note- I don't recommend doing this with a mocha frappuccino!  My point is they know the real me and still choose to hang around. Pretty cool huh?
My goal is to have a W5 BBQ in mid-August when New Friend moves here for good. I know that will be the motivation needed to complete the house projects. What a sweet reward it will be!